The accident took away all my thoughts. My memory seem to be failing. Iam feeling up surd. I dont feel much happiness now. Is it just the accident or the thought of yet another accident. But why Am I so afraid. I have changed, changed a lot.The feeling of yet another up surd happening is taking my sense to a new direction. I fear very much. I starve for words. My level of concentration is becoming much poorer. My Goddess helped me from being physically hurt but Iam not able to balance my thoughts. 

Why is it happening to me. I need to pray, I need to meditate,should I leave this job, should I go to Thiruvilwamala. Why is that my Goddess is not happy. She want to me to learn some new things, she want me to find a truth for her,but what is that,I feel helpless. I know with the accident Suryan is dead. The concept value is null now. The hypothesis is proving wrong. I need to find another way out. I should find the truth that she will help me.